Sometimes young, and not so young, parents require extra support in parenting. In this article, Kerry Williams, Capstone Foster Care Content Writer, shares how being a parent and child foster carer works and invites us to get involved.
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Have you heard of parent and child fostering?
We wouldn’t blame you if you haven’t, though the discipline shares many traits with midwifery: helping families have the best start in life. Foster carer Gerlin, who now specialises in parent and child fostering, also didn’t know what this niche type of fostering was when she began her fostering career. She shared more about her experiences…
What drew you to parent and child fostering?
“I didn’t even know I was doing it,” Gerlin laughs. Her first encounter of parent and child fostering was twenty years ago. “I got a call about a sixteen-year-old girl who was pregnant with triplets, she met with a few foster carers, and she chose me. Then she came to live with me and I helped her raise her young babies.
“From there I didn’t look back. I’d been a young mum myself, so I could relate to her – I approach every parent and child arrangement this way, without judgement.”
What is parent and child fostering?
As Gerlin says, this type of fostering is a preventative measure, where both the parent and their baby move into a foster carer’s home. In this situation, the foster carer establishes a bond with the parent, nurturing them and guiding them on the skills they need to thrive as parents.
It could be easy to assume that most of these arrangements are young mums, however, Gerlin explained how this isn’t always the case.
“The oldest arrangement I’ve had was a mother in her 30’s. You just cannot go into this with preconceptions and judgment.”
According to Gerlin, what makes a successful parent and child foster carer?
“You need to be ready for anything. Some of the parents I’ve worked with have wanted to be there and valued my advice, while others have been more resistant.
Sometimes they feel as if you’re watching and waiting for a mistake. This is not the case. First and foremost, together with the local authority, we agree the ground rules, so they are absolutely clear on what is expected. From then on, it’s a partnership. I offer support and guidance without taking over, often I’m there to give confidence, they can make small mistakes, but I reassure them their baby will never be unsafe around me.
To be a successful parent and child foster carer you need to be well organised, not only because you have to observe and document, but also because you are helping the parent establish routines and good habits.
“It’s also important to want them to succeed, to be their advocate and work with the parent. This is another adult you are dealing with, so you must give and take.”
Why do you foster?
“Parent and child fostering is one of the most rewarding things you can you. I have fostered children during my career as well, but there is something special about parent and child fostering.
“When you see them in their own home, with their baby, doing well. That’s a feeling like no other. A family has been able to stay together because of what I did. I’m so proud of that.”
Capstone Foster Care is building brighter futures for young people in foster care by establishing a network of highly engaged foster carers across England, providing access to one-of-a-kind therapeutic support and continuing to champion care experienced young people. You can learn more about the organisation here.
Kerry Williams | Capstone Foster Care Content Writer
Email: [email protected]