As the profession of midwifery continues to face a battering in the media and through ongoing investigations, it is refreshing in the Maternity and Midwifery forum to be able to change the narrative. The edited book, Love and Midwifery, was published recently and demonstrates how the role of a midwife goes much deeper. Jenny Patterson, Lecturer in Midwifery, Edinburgh Napier University & Diane Menage, Lecturer in Midwifery, De Montfort University, Leicester share here the background to the book and invite discussion going forward.
Love! Why is it rarely spoken about directly in midwifery? Should we even talk about it in midwifery? These were the questions we began to ask ourselves from the depths of writing up our respective PhD theses. We had each deeply explored the midwife-woman interaction albeit from opposite perspectives (Jenny exploring trauma; Diane exploring compassion) and had both independently raised a question about this four-letter word ‘Love’.
After a few years of co-writing and presenting our PhD findings, reflecting together and gently raising the question of love, Diane suggested we wrote a book.
‘About what?’ Jenny asked, ‘Love’ replied Diane, ‘Of course’ Jenny agreed.
So, what has love got to do with midwifery? As we discovered through many conversations with midwives, researchers and women, and through the fantastic, beautifully written and well evidenced author contributions for the book, everything!
The love we are referring to is not the gushy, romantic, fluffy kitten form, it is strong, courageous, ethical, life-giving, empowering…need we go on? It was important to start by really exploring what is meant by love, its relationship with midwifery care and its role in humanising childbirth. The first three chapters of Love and Midwifery explore the ideas and theories of love in different, yet complementary ways, providing the foundations for the rest of the book. The second part of the book is a deep dive into what this might mean in practice, on the ground, in a pressured maternity care environment. For this we drew on the five love languages by Gary Chapman (2015) – time, words, touch, action, and gift, as these resonate powerfully within midwifery.
Time is always of the essence in midwifery care, yet we do not focus on the lack of it but rather how we use time in a loving way. Taking time to make eye contact, smile, introduce ourselves, ultimately ensuring women feel we have time for them and are interested in them. The words we use are increasingly scrutinised as we become more aware of how words and body language can deeply impact a birthing journey. Whether we communicate kindness or impatience, respect or disregard, safety or threat is fundamental to both the physiological and psychological wellbeing of women, their babies and families. Similarly, the way we use touch is of paramount importance in terms of ensuring women feel safe and protected, understood and respected and how this can facilitate optimal physiology. The role of action is taken up powerfully in terms of the political voice and remit we have in midwifery to advocate for women and families and the right and access to high-quality care. Finally, with gift we look at the theory of ‘care as gift’ but also the cost of giving as midwives, and how this can be balanced so we can take care of ourselves within the role.
Of course, midwifery is wider than the practical role, being embedded within workplace cultures and underpinned by professional standards, within which each individual midwifery care provider is a human being with their own visions, needs, strengths and challenges. Thus, in the final section of the book we explore the role of love within self-care, midwifery education, the workplace, leadership and the profession itself. At a time when midwifery is making news headlines with investigations into substandard care; when we are aware more than ever of challenging cultures within the workplace that erode the humanity and strength of everyone; and when pressures are harming the physical and psychological wellbeing of midwives; we need to shine light on a new path. We believe this book is a strong light. We believe that talking directly about the role of love is now essential. We argue throughout the book that love is a choice, a value and a motivation for compassionate care.
Practising lovingly enhances the experience of those receiving care, but it also makes us feel good. It transforms our experience in our role. It is well known that wellbeing is related to having close caring relationships and a sense of purpose. Practising midwifery lovingly requires both and is a powerful way to support our own health and wellbeing.
Love and Midwifery was published just a few months ago and we have already received a lot of amazing feedback. It is clear that talking about love in a midwifery context has resonated with midwives and student midwives in the UK and further afield. There is a sense of it being a welcome relief to many. Many people have thanked the authors for their courage to write about love. Others explained what the book meant to them.
“Each chapter feels like a wave of clarity, courageous and compassionate, underpinned by evidence yet deeply human” Iola Aaron in The Practising Midwife September 2025
To love is part of being human and, for the majority of people, love is the most important thing in life. As midwives we are professionals and we are employees, but we are human beings too. These are important roles, but to deny our humanness harms care and it harms us. We believe that practising midwifery lovingly demands that we are human beings first, professionals second and employees third. Love and Midwifery encourages midwives to recognise and feel proud of the love in their work and shines a light on the benefits of this.
If you recognise the love in your work, please share your thoughts with us. You can email us via the website www.loveandmidwifery.com.
Jenny Patterson, Lecturer in Midwifery, Edinburgh Napier University & Diane Menage, Lecturer in Midwifery, de Montfort University, Leicester
December 2025
Information for the book Love and Midwifery, 2025 is at: https://www.loveandmidwifery.com/